milliways_bar I don't sleep, I dream

[bloodyrockgod]

[ooc: Post getting rid of Simon and recovery.]

The funny part is, he knows he should know he's dreaming.

He's walking down the aisle at the church in Manchester, a schoolboy again, an alter boy, and the priest is saying St. Sebastian brought food and comfort to imprisioned Christians during Diocletian's reign . . . and there's a portrait of St. Sebastian, pierced with a hundred arrows, on the wall. Charlie looks away.

Look! the priest orders and his voice sounds like Charlie's father's. You have to look!

Don't want to, Charlie protests but looks anyway, and the portrait is terrifying--the artist took great glee in portraying the saint's pain, and the arrows keep on flying and flying and Charlie exclaims I know that face! and he tries to climb up the wall and the priest--or his father dressed as a priest--says That's what you get, that's what you get, that's what you get over and over--

And then there's no more church and no more priest, but there's still St. Sebastian tied to a tree.

Only it's a tree in the forest of Milliways and it's not the saint, it's Darien, and his blood is silvery as it runs down his skin. And Charlie babbles I'll help you, I'll untie you and Darien whispers save me and the arrows never stop coming, never stop piercing him, and there's so much blood.

And his father says you can't save him, Charlie and Charlie's weeping and his hands are fumbling at the knots and Darien's dying and the arrows never stop.

Give up, Charlie, you've never saved anyone says his father and Charlie shakes him and shakes him and shakes him--only it's not his father anymore, it's Charlie, Charlie with silver eyes--

--and then he's awake.

In Darien's apartment, in his sweatpants, his hands wrapped around the edges of Darien's mirror. His body is dripping with sweat and it takes him a moment to realize that it's only his reflection.

He lets go of the mirror and sinks down to the floor a moment, and wipes his face with shaking hands.

When he's got his breath back he makes his way to Darien's bed and crawls beneath the sheets, wrapping himself around Darien's warm body.

Only after he's checked Darien for wounds can he relax enough to sleep.

Comments

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien wakes up first, ruffles his hair, ruffles Charlie's hair and starts to get up to take a shower.

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie moans in his sleep and shifts, curling into the warmth where Darien was.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien looks down, a little concerned, and rests his hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"Babe?"

[bloodyrockgod]

He jerks awake and blinks in confusion for a moment or two. "Oh," he says and smiles at him disarmingly. "Hey. Good morning."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien is not fooled.

"Hey, wanna take a shower with me?"

He'll let Charlie come to him, though. For a while.

[bloodyrockgod]

"Yes," Charlie says and throws the bedding aside, swinging his legs to the floor. "How'd you sleep last night?"

Perfectly innocent question. Darien's the one who's been having problems, after all.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

"Like a baby," he answers with a soft smile. "You?"

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie's smile gets a little brittle and he wraps his arms around Darien's waist, pressing his cheek to his chest. "'m fine."

Lies. All lies.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And Darien just watches him patiently and runs his hands through Charlie's hair. The silence means he isn't buying it. The lack of questions means he's waiting for Charlie to be able to talk about it. The touching is so that Charlie knows he's not pissed.

[bloodyrockgod]

"Bad dream," Charlie mutters into Darien's skin. "It's nothing. Have 'em all the time."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And he doesn't speak, he just keeps stroking through Charlie's hair.

[bloodyrockgod]

"I'm fine," Charlie insists, still clinging to Darien. "Just--just--just--"

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And he doesn't say anything, just let's Charlie get it out. The only acknowledgement he gives is to lean down and kiss the top of Charlie's head.

[bloodyrockgod]

"I dreamed you died," he whispers, eyes squeezed shut. "And I couldn't do anything."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And he shakes just a little before leaning down to kiss Charlie again, this time taking his time, letting his nose wander through the soft blonde hair.

"Still here, babe."

[bloodyrockgod]

"I know. 's stupid. Stupid to be afraid of a dream."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

He shrugs.

"You're dating the invisible man, Charlie. Who knows?"

There's a pause as he has nothing to say here, absolutely nothing, but then he breathes in and looks to Charlie.

"Take that shower?"

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie nods, not letting go of Darien at all.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

He smiles fainly, a little sad, and leads Charlie into the bathroom. The water's quick enough to set and then he's stepping in, pulling the smaller man with him and siddling up close against him from behind with a soft kiss to his shoulder.

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie exhales and rolls his head back and forth, popping his neck in a series of sharp cracks. "Tense," he remarks.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien's hands slide up from Charlie's sides and begin to kneed at Charlie's shoulders, kisses added entirely for aesthetic value.

[bloodyrockgod]

Oh, entirely.

He rolls his shoulders under Darien's hands and closes his eyes with a soft sigh.

"Darien," he whispers. "Love you."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien nods, kissing his way down the back of Charlie's neck.

"Need you."

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie moans, "Need you too," and lets his head drop forward, baring the vulnerably pale back of his neck.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien takes advantage, kissing and stroking and massaging Charlie to the point where he's chuckling a little as he works out the kinks.

"Should've done a bath instead."