milliways_bar I don't sleep, I dream

[bloodyrockgod]

[ooc: Post getting rid of Simon and recovery.]

The funny part is, he knows he should know he's dreaming.

He's walking down the aisle at the church in Manchester, a schoolboy again, an alter boy, and the priest is saying St. Sebastian brought food and comfort to imprisioned Christians during Diocletian's reign . . . and there's a portrait of St. Sebastian, pierced with a hundred arrows, on the wall. Charlie looks away.

Look! the priest orders and his voice sounds like Charlie's father's. You have to look!

Don't want to, Charlie protests but looks anyway, and the portrait is terrifying--the artist took great glee in portraying the saint's pain, and the arrows keep on flying and flying and Charlie exclaims I know that face! and he tries to climb up the wall and the priest--or his father dressed as a priest--says That's what you get, that's what you get, that's what you get over and over--

And then there's no more church and no more priest, but there's still St. Sebastian tied to a tree.

Only it's a tree in the forest of Milliways and it's not the saint, it's Darien, and his blood is silvery as it runs down his skin. And Charlie babbles I'll help you, I'll untie you and Darien whispers save me and the arrows never stop coming, never stop piercing him, and there's so much blood.

And his father says you can't save him, Charlie and Charlie's weeping and his hands are fumbling at the knots and Darien's dying and the arrows never stop.

Give up, Charlie, you've never saved anyone says his father and Charlie shakes him and shakes him and shakes him--only it's not his father anymore, it's Charlie, Charlie with silver eyes--

--and then he's awake.

In Darien's apartment, in his sweatpants, his hands wrapped around the edges of Darien's mirror. His body is dripping with sweat and it takes him a moment to realize that it's only his reflection.

He lets go of the mirror and sinks down to the floor a moment, and wipes his face with shaking hands.

When he's got his breath back he makes his way to Darien's bed and crawls beneath the sheets, wrapping himself around Darien's warm body.

Only after he's checked Darien for wounds can he relax enough to sleep.

Comments

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie watches him through half-closed eyes, and says, "But the thing is, this kind of thing has happened before. To me, I mean."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Now he's attentive.

"Yeah?"

[bloodyrockgod]

"Last year." He swallows. "Time got . . . wonky. I had dreams--heard voices--"

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

"And this was cause of..."

[bloodyrockgod]

"'Cause I was taken out of time," Charlie says. "It had to be set right. It was like I was going mad."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And he closes his eyes, not liking the sound of this.

"And that means..."

[bloodyrockgod]

"I don't know," Charlie says tiredly. "It means--Raven said I was having too much time. That things were spinning that should be still. Which is normal for me--" He laughs dryly. "Only not so much."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

"So we...take you off the sit 'n spin and set you down. Then what?"

[bloodyrockgod]

"I don't know." He closes his eyes and lays his head on Darien's shoulder. "I don't know.

"It's the island. The island fucking with me no matter where I am, because I'm still there, no matter what. That's what I think."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

...

"And I thought I had problems."

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie kisses him. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says quietly. "I didn't think it would happen again. I don't know why it is now. I haven't died again recently. "

Ghost of a smile.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

And Darien holds close now.

"Don't talk about that, okay? You're not dying at all.

[bloodyrockgod]

He nods. "I know." He rubs his cheek on Darien's shoulder.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

"Not dying, not going anywhere, not going crazy..."

He looks at Charlie.

"You remember that big thing about how I need you?"

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie nods again, his smile more genuine. "I remember."

St. Sebastian pierced with arrows--

He shivers.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

"Good."

And the water is at the right spot, so he turns off the faucet and starts messaging again.

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie kisses whatever is closest to his mouth and closes his eyes again. Darien's got beautiful hands, and it always just feels so good to be touched. He needs it, craves it, hungers for it, just skin-to-skin.

And it feels so right.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

Darien loves touching Charlie. It's always good to play to a receptive audience, of course, but it's more than that. He knows how much Charlie needs him and that's a rush, that's a comfort because he needs Charlie. God does he need Charlie.

Life's shit.. but when he could come home to this, he didn't care.

[bloodyrockgod]

After a moment or two Charlie raises his head and smiles down at him again, tracing the side of Darien's face with the backs of his fingers. "Do you want to go back to bed?" he says quietly.

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

He shrugs.

"Once we're pruned up enough, sure."

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie waves his fingers. "I see definate pruning," he says, smiling, then touches Darien's cheek again and says more seriously, "I want to make love."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

He smiles and leans down to runs his nose along Charlie's with a sly smile.

"Well, we got plenty, but I guess a little more wouldn't hurt, you know? Makes the world go round, this stuff."

A kiss to his cheek, another to his lips and he nods towards the bed.

[bloodyrockgod]

Charlie splashes to his feet and steps out of the tub, snagging a towel from the rack and holding it open to wrap around Darien. "There can never be enough, I think."

[qsilver-lab-rat.livejournal.com]

He wraps it around himself and follows Charlie out.

"Nope. We'll just have to keep up the production line."

[bloodyrockgod]

"Supply and demand," Charlie says with a nod, vigorously toweling himself off.